Mug shot says a lot;

Straight A’s, 2 parents, middle class upbringing.

Voted Regan, Bush and Bush again,

And tried to keep those demons from breeding.

I saw that something the first time I met you,

But it was clear that something was never gonna come outside.

So you buried it, ignored it, denied its unalienable right,

Until it came out of the closet on your birthday night.

Now you know, now they know, now the world has met your demon.

Once the sun shines down on it, the shadow starts receding.

You think we separated many moons ago,
But I own you in my mind.
You thought you broke free of me,
But I own you in my mind.


Lounging feet in the sand,
sharing a lazy Sunday afternoon.
I remembered to bring the umbrella,
sun scorching in the month of June.
Bad jokes abound from your mouth,
they make me laugh anyway.
Turns out your jovial mood,
was the only thing that was gay.


Said you needed more,
more than I could give.
Said this was no way,
for an entitled princess to live.


Always present, never aloof,
Heart bigger than your expectations.
Filled with love, not with plastic,
3 digit security code and an expiration.
Capable of giving more,
than an hour or two, every week.
Know who you are,
not the one she wants you to be.
Soul deep not loofah deep.
You don't exist.


Another moment, another tear,
as days and months pass by.
Your heart no longer speaks to me,
But I own you in my mind.

Pop and pour, pop and pour;

Bring on the comps, it’s for charity.

With each sip my moxie maximizes,

And super sizes

For the coming opportunity.

Hot blonde in jacked up heels

and super short dress;

legs looking immortally long.

Shower me in adulation,

Lady lovely manipulation,

Or at least the Calvin multi print,

wanna put it on?

Let’s go undercover,

And pull a little switch-a-roo.

I’m sure we’ll both fit in.

Only known you for about a minute or two.

Now you’re struttin’ in my wears,

and I’m tugging down your Mexican find.

Trying to cover these assets

Gettin’ all kinds of stares on mine.

You’re damn crazy fun, as were walking in dim lights.

Slip of the hand, slip of the tongue,

Not the sophisticated time I planned.

There was networking and a wife to be found.

But life is now, and I look too young.

Gonna add seven years or so to it,

When this night is done.

In the corner, in the garden,

On the dance floor, on the bar.

Time was fun, but now time to run.

There’s yours, here’s mine, now there’s yours on the floor?

Some tongue, some finger

Sucking from the baby’s god made bottle,

Fresh nectar never tasted so good.

But you’re air, I’m water,

so this is just for the night.

Please don’t give me your number

It will never, ever be this right.

Now put this on and call Fellini to the set.

Ciao bella, arrivederci baby, La Dolce Vita. Who’s next?

There once was a girl who loved colonics,

 to get all the shit out of her.

She thought she was full of toxins,

 which were ruining her mood and her world.

She cleansed and detoxed with juices, and diets

And sometimes mechanical contraptions,

In hopes that the feelings of emptiness and lovelessness

 would be replaced with some sort of satisfaction.

But that feeling never came.

And she was left with a very dull pain,

As the love that held her hand, and waited

Stood up and walked away.

Writing 1-oh-1

 I never gave you a chance.

We never gave us a chance.

A chance at what?

A lottery ticket whose numbers were never scratched off,

A call never answered,

An invitation unaccepted,

An opportunity never embraced?

 A love never made.

Set in motion at the wrong times,

Starting and stopping never catching a rhythm.

The first time I saw you was in a picture,

Not sure how I missed you at that birthday dinner.

Glancing back, not a smile or a frown,

 but your eyes said you had a story to tell;

a life being written not acted out.

I’m not sure what it was in you that kept bringing me back.

Were so different, were so the same.

Something deeper than your skin I want to touch.

So I return like the tide, working my way to you.

Maybe we were never meant to connect through carnal desire,

Meant to connect by words, expressed tales of life and emotions;

 hitting each others gspot the only way we know how.

  4 Ways To Mess With Your Mind.

It’s the Dog Days of Summer; summer, which now starts in April and will probably be ending in November thanks to Global Warming.  You’ve already worked your way through the top 5 of Oprah’s summer reading list, and you don’t want to escape into fiction anymore. No, you want to concentrate on you and your life, because you’ve decided, “maybe I’m not perfect after all.” Maybe, you could use a little reworking, another draft, a new 2.0 version of yourself? Welcome to the Age of Aquarius baby, where it’s all about the new and better you for a new and better life. Forget religion, the pathway to heaven is self analysis and enlightenment. “Ok, great,” you say, “but how do I get there? What’s my mode of transportation to get to a better me, a better life and eventually a Deepak Chopra heaven on earth existence?” Well, here are my four picks for self help books to a new and better you!

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Let’s start with Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. The Four Agreements is like a reference book or a resource guide. It’s small in size, but packed with information. Basically, it says do these four things and you will experience heaven on earth. Simple enough, until you try to actually put them into practice and you realize you’ve opened up a Pandora’s Box inside your head making  you question reality, the meaning of life and if anything or anyone matters. There is no wading into the water with The Four Agreements; it’s a plunge into the deep end. You may find yourself drowning in the proverbial water and grasping for the ledge, but if you don’t freak out, you might be able to dog paddle your way back to dry land… or not. The concepts are big, but familiar. For example, “Don’t Take Anything Personally,” that’s a phrase you have surely heard many times. But when Miguel says it, he really means it. Your wife tells you she loves you, don’t take it personally. Your friends tell you that you look great, don’t take it personally. You’ve just won the Noble Peace Prize, don’t take it personally. Apparently, we are all living in our own worlds, staring in our own movies, and everything we do and say is all about us. So just go with it.

Inspiration by Dr.Wayne W Dyer

He is the king of self-help, author of over thirty books. He appears on your TV, the radio, and at conferences lecturing to emotionally and psychologically lost audiences. Dr. Wayne Dyer, the guru of New Age philosophy helps you find your ultimate calling in Inspiration. Wayne basically asserts that all of us were non-physical beings who chose our bodies, our families, our lives on planet earth, and that we all came here to accomplish something and that something is what inspires us. So, find your source of inspiration, your calling, then live it out and you will find ultimate happiness. Apparently some of us were looking for a challenge and chose to be a child solider in Uganda or that guy who was texting while driving and now has a picture of his car smashed under the 18 wheeler circulating in emails and on facebook. Wayne provides specific instructions on how to live “in-spirit.” One of my favorites was the giving up of possessions. I found it particularly amusing when I asked my girlfriend at the time, to give me her four thousand dollar, Prada, python hand bag. Apparently, her non-physical being, gave the whole picking your family, your life thing more thought than mine did. Ultimately, I have to give it up to Wayne, because what better advice can you give someone than follow your dreams.

Real Love by Greg Baer, M.D.

The first time I saw the title of this book, I thought of Mary J. Blige’s 1992 hit Real Love and I wondered what this man could possibly know about love that Mary hadn’t already sung about. Then I read the book and realized Mary could use a refresher course. Real Love is a guide to finding genuine happiness through unconditional love and fulfilling relationships. After reading Greg Baer’s book, the path to genuine happiness seems pretty simple. For starters, learn the difference between imitation or conditional love as in “OMG, you’re taking me to St. Martin for the weekend? I love you!” and unconditional or real love like, “you’re too tired to take me out for sushi like you promised? I love you.” Greg will show you how to eliminate conflict by basically accepting your partner, husband, wife, as they are, and as they act. With Real Love, you have to dump expectations, so you don’t experience the disappointment, anger, fear etc. that comes with them. Real Love is tough; simple but tough. Now it’s not necessary to find a mate who embraces this philosophical outlook, but it will sure make things easier for you if they do. Otherwise, you will be fighting against generations and generations and generations of backwards thinking. Mary J. sung about it, but Greg Baer shows you how to find Real Love.

Loving What Is by Byron Kaite

Do not buy this book unless you are truly serious about changing your life, because it’s work! Byron Katie’s whole premise of changing your perception and finding true happiness is based on self analysis designed for active and enthusiastic participants. Passive, lazy readers need not attempt transformation.  She literally calls it doing “the work.” So what is “the work?” It is a process of stating a thought you believe is true, which is causing you anger, fear, depression, or addiction, and turning that thought around, to get at the real truth behind it. Through a series of four questions, Byron enables you to see how your thoughts can contradict or warp reality and lead you into despair. For example, and the book has many, a woman says her husband is driving her crazy and she doesn’t love him anymore. Byron asks if it is true the woman’s husband is actually driving her crazy. Of course he isn’t, but his behavior is annoying the woman. Using “the work,” she gets to the root of the problem, the woman isn’t happy with herself; she has placed expectations on her relationship that can never be realized, etc. etc. Powerful stuff, but users should be very careful with this cognitive tool, because if you’re already a deep thinker, you could find yourself with your head spinning around so badly, you look like Linda Blair in the exorcist. I went from listening to my instincts, to questioning everything I thought and believed was true. You have been warned.

Helping You Design A Life That Fits Your Fashion Style!

     Many of my girlfriends, especially the married ones, are jumping on the bandwagon and reading the New York Times best seller, Fifty Shades of Grey. The novel is about sexuality and desire and more specifically BDSM. Now, I’m sure, if you are a daily reader of my blog, you are wondering what in the world is BDSM? The acronym stands for bondage, dominance or discipline, and sadism/masochism. Way too dark for me! But it got me to thinking. Sexuality is a lot like fashion! There are many styles, pieces and designers to choose from, but you need to find the one that fits you! Books, TV and movies may push mass market sexuality, but finding one that fits your desires or style, means shopping for haute couture, or at least prêt a porter.

     First, look in your closet and ask yourself, what’s on my hangers? Is it the latest in Boho aka Boho–chic, aka bobo-chic, aka Sienna Miller, Olsen Twins, Nicole Richie wear? Do you find yourself spending all your money on caftans, tunics, tiered peasant skirts, ankle-length embroidered dresses and slim, weathered jeans? If so, then your sexuality is probably Boho too! You’re a hippy at heart. No need for a Brazilian Wax or an asshole bleaching, go au natural… and you’ll probably enjoy doing it out in nature too! Enjoy free, easy going, unregulated sex with your partner, and maybe another person, heck engage in orgies. Get yourself a copy of the Kama Sutra, and go to it. The 70’s are long gone, but we’re just entering the Age of Aquarius. Embrace your free spirit!
 

  What’s that? This doesn’t fit you at all you say? Do you habitually save your hard earned money with the hopes of one day buying a Gareth Pugh PVC inflated, voluminous coat? Or maybe a chain mail mask and latex leggings ensemble? Were you John Galliano biggest fan before he went on a pro Nazi tirade in a Paris bar? Then you’re Avant-garde! You loved Fifty Shades of Grey and you’re “gun ho” for some bondage, domination, sadism or masochism. Your love nest looks more like a dungeon or a torture chamber than a place where the magic happens. You don’t make love; you push boundaries in exercises that are part life affirming, part performance art. I don’t think there is anything else I have the skills or knowledge to do for you at this point.
  

If you’re totally freaked out now, I have an idea of what your type is going to be, but let’s run through the questions anyway. Open your closet; do you own a Burberry trench coat? Do you have a pencil skirt? Are you looking at a pair of  Louboutin heels right now? Is there a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress hanging in there or a Chanel 2.55 handbag on the shelf? Hello! You’re a classic. Missionary position anyone? You like the tried and true and that goes for sex too. Stick with traditional positions and traditional roles. That means man on top, woman on bottom. Bring in the romance, the make out sessions, and then wrap it up under the covers with the lights out.  What about gay sex you ask? Uh…. You’re a classic.


So we’ve analyzed three distinct styles so far, but you say none of them apply to your taste or closet? Ok, is your dresser full of hot pants? Were you the first in your crew to start color blocking? Do you own multiple jumpsuits? You’re trendeeeeee! You go with whatever is hot at the moment regardless of how it looks on you because you want people to know you’re with it! Consequently you definitely read Fifty Shades of Grey even though you’re totally not into bondage. Well you are now because it’s IN; along with hairless and rejuvenated vaginas, bleached anuses and fake boobs as the uniform for sexual battle. Have fun with that. The greatest benefit of being trendy of course is you get to try out all kinds of styles and eventually you are going to get off the bandwagon and go with the style that truly makes your heart sing.

So there you go, sexuality according to fashion! But one note, remember, when you determine your style, don’t forget to accessorize. Just like a necklace, a belt, or earrings can make an outfit, wine and candles, sexy lingerie, vibrators, dildos, or butt plugs, can be the final touch to the perfect sexual experience.
 
 

She looked like a flower, because she was a flower. She was my wildflower and she encouraged the world to “let yourself xxxxxxx.”   I opened the door and there she stood a smiling face for carpels, and blonde curls for petals. She looked like the sun was shining on her after a midday rain shower. She was glowing, radiating like a gold chain lying around the neck of a sunbathing model at the Raleigh Hotel. Her body, was draped in a long sundress. It was green with designs of blue and yellow and black and a slit that buttoned up the front. She had unbuttoned that slit to just above her knee, to show off her leg. A beautiful leg it was, a dancer’s leg although she hadn’t been to Suncoast  Studios in months to samba or cha cha or even fox trot when her 84 year old friend Arnold was there. It was a porcelain leg, like the rest of her body; undamaged by years of sun worshiping to fit the ideals of beauty served up in trendy magazines. She was smarter than that. She knew who she was, and she knew that woman was perfect as is; perfect in size, perfect in shape, perfect in height, perfect in being. She reached out her hands to me, as she walked past the threshold, into the living room. We embraced. Our arms wrapped around each other, was the best feeling my body had felt in two and a half months. She always told me she loved my essence and now I was intoxicated by hers. It was so strong; it filled the living room like a vase full of star gazer lilies. I buried my face into her curls in hopes I could get tangled up in them and she wouldn't be able to let me go. In separation, my love had grown; it was strong, purposeful, and dedicated. Hers was gone.

     Break-ups, they're hard under any circumstance, but there are certain things you can do or not do to make the experience a little easier. Some say you should allow yourself a certain amount of time to cry and be miserable. Others say you should get out and join a group or volunteer. And still others advise to pick up a new hobby. Bee - ssssss. These are my tried and tested methods for breaking up.

1. Get Drunk. Yes alcohol is a depressant and it will make you feel worse, BUT it will put you in positions to have a really good time and end up doing things you would never do, and talk to people you would never talk to. It's guaranteed to get you the rebound sex you'll need to snap out of your funk.

2. Get Artistic. Right now you are full of all the emotion and turmoil you need to create the next great novel or painting. You've never written or picked up a paint brush? It doesn't matter, when you're suffering through a breakup, everything you do artistically, will turn to gold.

3. Self Help Books. These can be a little tricky, but if you stay focused, they can be a huge asset in getting over your relationship. First, you'll realize how badly you screwed up in your last relationship and what an absolute sucky girlfriend/boyfriend you were. Then, they will teach you the skills to be a thoughtful, well adjusted, insightful human being and a totally awesome girlfriend/boyfriend.

4. Spend a sh!t load of $$$$. That's right, blow your bank account UP! And max your credit cards out! You're gonna be depressed, real depressed, so you need to do things that will pick up your spirits. Buy lots of clothes ( if your ex sees you, they'll see your moving on, new stuff, new things happening) go out, eat out and travel. All of these activities will keep your spirits up. Now, when reality crashes down on you, you'll be so preoccupied with your F!#$%! up financial situation, you won't be thinking about your ex.

5. Get a dog.That's right, I said it. Four paws are better than two feet and two hands. Get a dog, preferably, a young cute one that you can take for walks at happening spots. Not only will your new four-legged companion help you get the hotties attention and a date, if you go home alone... you won't be alone! They will sit in your lap or cuddle up next to you and you'll always feel loved.

6. Get back together. What were you thinking? You can't just break up. You always have to have a plan in place. Get a new girlfriend/boyfriend lined up before you dump your current one, and avoid all the drama, the tears and the misery.  It's the right thing to do.... for you!