Helping You Design A Life That Fits Your Fashion Style!
Many of my girlfriends, especially the married ones, are jumping on the bandwagon and reading the New York Times best seller, Fifty Shades of Grey. The novel is about sexuality and desire and more specifically BDSM. Now, I’m sure, if you are a daily reader of my blog, you are wondering what in the world is BDSM? The acronym stands for bondage, dominance or discipline, and sadism/masochism. Way too dark for me! But it got me to thinking. Sexuality is a lot like fashion! There are many styles, pieces and designers to choose from, but you need to find the one that fits you! Books, TV and movies may push mass market sexuality, but finding one that fits your desires or style, means shopping for haute couture, or at least prêt a porter.
First, look in your closet and ask yourself, what’s on my hangers? Is it the latest in Boho aka Boho–chic, aka bobo-chic, aka Sienna Miller, Olsen Twins, Nicole Richie wear? Do you find yourself spending all your money on caftans, tunics, tiered peasant skirts, ankle-length embroidered dresses and slim, weathered jeans? If so, then your sexuality is probably Boho too! You’re a hippy at heart. No need for a Brazilian Wax or an asshole bleaching, go au natural… and you’ll probably enjoy doing it out in nature too! Enjoy free, easy going, unregulated sex with your partner, and maybe another person, heck engage in orgies. Get yourself a copy of the Kama Sutra, and go to it. The 70’s are long gone, but we’re just entering the Age of Aquarius. Embrace your free spirit!
What’s that? This doesn’t fit you at all you say? Do you habitually save your hard earned money with the hopes of one day buying a Gareth Pugh PVC inflated, voluminous coat? Or maybe a chain mail mask and latex leggings ensemble? Were you John Galliano biggest fan before he went on a pro Nazi tirade in a Paris bar? Then you’re Avant-garde! You loved Fifty Shades of Grey and you’re “gun ho” for some bondage, domination, sadism or masochism. Your love nest looks more like a dungeon or a torture chamber than a place where the magic happens. You don’t make love; you push boundaries in exercises that are part life affirming, part performance art. I don’t think there is anything else I have the skills or knowledge to do for you at this point.
If you’re totally freaked out now, I have an idea of what your type is going to be, but let’s run through the questions anyway. Open your closet; do you own a Burberry trench coat? Do you have a pencil skirt? Are you looking at a pair of Louboutin heels right now? Is there a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress hanging in there or a Chanel 2.55 handbag on the shelf? Hello! You’re a classic. Missionary position anyone? You like the tried and true and that goes for sex too. Stick with traditional positions and traditional roles. That means man on top, woman on bottom. Bring in the romance, the make out sessions, and then wrap it up under the covers with the lights out. What about gay sex you ask? Uh…. You’re a classic.
So we’ve analyzed three distinct styles so far, but you say none of them apply to your taste or closet? Ok, is your dresser full of hot pants? Were you the first in your crew to start color blocking? Do you own multiple jumpsuits? You’re trendeeeeee! You go with whatever is hot at the moment regardless of how it looks on you because you want people to know you’re with it! Consequently you definitely read Fifty Shades of Grey even though you’re totally not into bondage. Well you are now because it’s IN; along with hairless and rejuvenated vaginas, bleached anuses and fake boobs as the uniform for sexual battle. Have fun with that. The greatest benefit of being trendy of course is you get to try out all kinds of styles and eventually you are going to get off the bandwagon and go with the style that truly makes your heart sing.
So there you go, sexuality according to fashion! But one note, remember, when you determine your style, don’t forget to accessorize. Just like a necklace, a belt, or earrings can make an outfit, wine and candles, sexy lingerie, vibrators, dildos, or butt plugs, can be the final touch to the perfect sexual experience.